Kim VS Totoro: The Final Battle, Episode 1

Reported by Winnie the Pooh, professional journalist and another resident of Kim’s room.

(No Totoro or any of his associates is harmed during this battle. I’m writing this because I’m too bored. Feel free to comment on my lameness.)


“It’s just you and me now, Totoro. Take out your sword!” Kim says, pointing at Totoro without fear, challenging him to the Final Duel. All those years perfecting the true skills of the sword. This is it. This is the moment she’s been training for.

There can only be one true warrior.

Totoro remains silent. He stands absolutely still, and then slowly, he shakes his gaint paw: a sword appears in the air.

“Kim, are you sure you want to do this?” calmly, he says.

“Yes,” Kim replies and tightens her fist.

“This is about the cat-bus isn’t it. You’re still angry with me asking him to NOT give you a ride from UBC to your house.”

Kim says immediately and determinedly, “No, this is not about the cat-bus. This is about honour. This is about being the best.”

“And you choose to do this the old fashioned way because…?”

“Because this is the only way.”

“We can take this onto CS if you want.”

“NO,” Kim screams.

“Why?” Totoro asks.

“Because I SUCK, okay? Just shut up and fight me.”

“How about Rock Paper Scissors? That’s an old fashioned way, too.”

“NO,” Kim screams again.

“Okay then,” Totoro concludes.

And so the battle begins.

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