Attention.

I’m sick of the social media. I really am. It’s a bottomless black hole, swirling with wasted minutes. I try to be frugal and conscientious, but these attention-seekers continue to nag at my consciousness. Gently tugging and prompting and ushering and pulling me back. I want to get away.

It’s hard to resist. The gravity of it. I mean, I’ve spent so many years in that meaningless dimension. It started with MSN. Facebook. Hotmail. Twitter. Now what? I can’t believe how addicted I am, how tangled up I am in this depth of inane interactions. Who cares if somebody commented? I don’t even know the person. Who cares if somebody favourite this music mix I created online? Who cares if I gained one more follower? I am checking every single day for those. Now that I’ve successfully pulled myself away from Facebook, my attention sought desperately for something to leech onto. Now I’m checking my e-mail incessantly. I’m checking 8tracks every hour.

What is WRONG with me? I don’t want to be this absorbed. When I do things I want to just do them. I don’t want to be writing my essay, and then checking out these social updates during, and then writing my essay again. I want to just do ONE THING. And I move on to another thing. Why can’t I escape from the internet? Why can’t I get away? I’m not using Facebook anymore, but what has really changed? Nothing. I’m still hooked! I CAN’T LEAVE THE INTERNET. I KEEP GETTING DRAWN TO THESE LITTLE DEMONS. THEY WON’T LET ME GO.

No. I mustn’t think like that. I left Facebook easily. It took one decision and some determination. One serious decision, that is.

I need to STOP.

I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to drown myself in social updates every single day. I don’t want to be constantly thinking about those things. Those meaningless things. I want to attend to just ONE thing at A time. One thing. No distractions.

And I shall try.

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