The Philosophy of Buying Clothes

1. Sales and promotions in various forms: buy 2 get 1 free, 2 for $20, buy 1 get one half prized…are evil in its direst manifestation. If there happens to be multiple things you really, really want, then it’s a great deal–but these sales combos are designed to trap us into buying MORE by tricking our brains to think that things will be CHEAPER if we get one more to make that sales combo. But the truth is we end up spending MORE money to make that sales combo, getting something we don’t really want or think is okay–things we may wear ONCE OR TWICE, and left forgotten in the deepest part of our closets to collect dark energy. IT’S A CONSUMERIST TRICK, DON’T FALL FOR IT.

2. Always get the colour YOU would most likely to wear. Purchases made to increase the diversity of your closet drop into perpetual limbo in the land of forgotten fabrics. If you like black t-shirts, get black t-shirts–unless you really wear the full spectrum of a rainbow. Otherwise, it doesn’t really matter if your closet looks visually encompassing.

3. Value quality over quantity. Especially true with shoes. You simply CANNOT trust cheap shoes, they’re usually in conflict with your toes or the thin layer of skin on your heel. Or they attempt to crush the structure of your feet altogether. Unless it’s a seasonal, wear-once-toss-out thing, then don’t spam purchase a mountain pile of clothes and evicting them at the end.

4. Buy things online, because you get to use promotional codes. Google them at will.

5. Don’t buy things online, unless your omniscience or spirit guide gives you their okay. The truth is you never know what you’ll look like unless you try them on. Only use internet shopping if you’re really sure what you’re buying and getting yourself into.

6. Wait. If you’re patient enough, that jacket or blazer you really want is probably going on sale in a few weeks. That’s just how it goes, and plus, Murphy is an infamous, cosmic troll.

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